March 2018 Kanesville Stake Relief Society Message

March 2018

How many of you at the end of the day say : “Where did the time go? I didn’t get done what I needed to do. I need more hours in a day!” I think we all wish we had more hours in the day and could accomplish more with what precious time we have. As we review our days, we may need to take note of things that may be stealing our precious time that are inconsequential, time-wasting things that are not bringing us closer as a family and to the Lord. We all need downtime, but we need to make sure that we prioritize well and start removing things from our lives that we truly don’t need.

As we think about our time, we can think of many things that may or may not detract from the spirit, but don’t improve us and/or our family. We not only need to review our lives, but those of our family and those around us as well.

Elder Donald L. Staheli of the Seventy has warned: “Distractions and discouragement are some of Satan’s most effective tools. He finds ways to help us make excuses about why we can’t do this or that. He gets us involved in wasting our time and resources in things that lead us away from improving our lives and developing our talents. He blurs our focus by diverting our attention. This can happen to the very best of you.”

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles stated: “One of the ways Satan lessens your effectiveness and weakens your spiritual strength is by encouraging you to spend large blocks of your time doing things that matter very little.”

Our lives are surrounded and inundated with time-wasting activities. Without a review of our lives, it is so easy to just go along in our busy lives thinking that there is no way to change or fit one more thing into our lives. It is amazing, though, how we can find/make time to do certain things that come up that we really want to participate in, but we can’t fit time into our schedule for things that the Lord wants us to do. Some items we participate in can even become addictions and take over our lives without us even noticing.

Elder M Russell Ballard also reminded us, “We need to limit the amount of time our children watch TV or play video games [including smartphones] or use the Internet each day.” Of course, this counsel to limit the time we dedicate to media applies to parents as well! We can do this by establishing reasonable time constraints for online recreational activities. Then, if the attraction of the activity begins to pull us beyond our own guidelines, we can recognize a potentially dangerous situation and stop participating in the activity. As Elder Ballard counseled, “Virtual reality must not become [our] reality.”

Elder Donald L. Hallstrom of the Seventy has taught, “When we are out of balance, we have a choice. We can delay making changes and experience the tragedy of a failing family or the sorrow of losing our own spirituality; or we can be attentive and continually nudged by the whisperings of the Holy Spirit to make necessary adjustments. Seeking balance among the essential responsibilities of life is preparatory to salvation.”

President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught this idea when he said, “Addiction has the capacity to disconnect the human will and nullify moral agency. It can rob one of the power to decide.”

President James E. Faust taught, “While some addictions require professional clinical help, let us not overlook the spiritual help available to us through priesthood blessings and through prayer. The Lord has promised us, ‘My grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them’ (Ether 12:27). Let us remember that the power to change is very real, and it is a great spiritual gift from God.”

Even though the following questions apply to video games, we need to take them into consideration when checking to see if any hobby or habit has become an addiction.

·       Do you play compulsively?

·       Do you play for long periods of time (often longer than you had planned)?

·       Once online, do you have difficulty stopping?

·       Do you play as often as you can?

·       Do you sneak or violate family rules in order to play, even when facing punishment or loss of privileges for doing so?

·       When you are not playing, do you obsess about the game, plotting and planning your next opportunity to play?

·       Do you sacrifice real-world things for your online world?

·       Is your gaming negatively affecting your relationships with family members or other non-gamer friends? For instance, if you are a parent, does it cause you to neglect your children’s needs? If you are a child, does it cause you to distance yourself from your parents and siblings?

·       Do you consider other online gamers (even those whom you’ve never met in real life) to be among your best friends?

·       Is your school or work suffering because of the time and energy you spend gaming?

·       Are you having a difficult time deciding to serve a mission because of the extended break from the game that will naturally result?

·       Do you neglect personal hygiene?

·       Have your sleep patterns changed since you became involved with online gaming? Are you staying up extremely late or getting up in the middle of the night to play?

(Charles D. Knutson, BYU Computer Science Dept, and Kyle K. Oswald, LDS Family Services)

They further state, “If your loved one plays excessively, to the point of neglecting important aspects of his or her life (such as school, work, family life, church attendance, and church service), intervention may be merited. Seek counsel from priesthood leaders or professional counselors to know how best to approach your loved one. Since every situation is unique, these people can be a valuable resource as you prayerfully seek the Lord’s help.”

The key is to seek the Lord’s help. As with any addiction, it is almost impossible to overcome it alone. Whether the problem is with video games, TV, computer and internet usage, or even pornography, we need help from family, priesthood leaders, and perhaps even professional help to overcome the problem and take back our lives.

The more that electronic devices take over our daily lives, the more Satan wins by sidetracking us from what is really important…the church, our families, and our personal righteousness. Use these tools for righteousness. Use them to read scriptures, study the gospel, do genealogy, gain a higher education, manage your family and your time. Make each fleeting minute of every day useful.

Here are three of the ideas found in “Personal Time Management: One Key to a Leader’s Effectiveness,” by Rex W. Allred:

Focus on results. We often race at high speeds all day only to discover that we have been doing things rather than getting things done. Keeping the end goal in sight will enhance our capability to be effective rather than only quick.
Keep a time log. If your time log reveals that you have not been spending your time effectively, make plans and commitments to change your behavior accordingly.
Set priorities. Figure out the best use of your time. Consider using a personal planner or smart phone to aid your efforts.
The challenge to better utilize our time grows continuously as we take on more of life’s roles and responsibilities. Seeking the skill of effective time management will strengthen your contribution to the Lord’s work and help you accomplish far more in life.

May we bring the Lord into our lives as we seek him in prayer on ways to help us overcome and improve. May we not only help ourselves, but those around us find the Savior and have his spirit help us overcome addictions. May we make the most of our precious moments here upon the earth, I pray. We love you and pray for you!

Love,

Valyn Tucker

1^st Counselor - Kanesville Stake Relief Society Presidency

October Stake Relief Society Message

October 2016

Sisters, as I pondered what to address this month, my mind was all over the place. Things that I needed to get done kept popping up and I had a difficult time trying to focus. As a result, I felt it was important that this month’s message be on “Focusing on the Savior”. Our lives are so filled with so many things, that I think we need to stop and focus on what we truly should be focusing on…the Savior.

How can we and why should we take time out of our extremely busy days and nights to place the Savior first? Aren’t we doing good things? Shouldn’t family be our focus? How can I fit in just one more thing? I know that it is important, but isn’t what I am doing good enough? Is it? Only you and the Lord together can answer that question. Recently, I played the piano and accompanied a wonderful arrangement with Cello, Violin, and two beautiful voices of “if the Savior Stood Beside Me.” As the music flowed and the words came to my mind, I was touched. What would I do differently? How would my focus change if the Savior was beside me? Elder Dallin H. Oaks declared in his April 2001 Conference talk, “Our priorities determine what we seek in life.” Shouldn’t the Savior be first?

How can we daily strive to focus more on eternal things? We need to work, eat, go to school, and even play. All of these things can be wonderful, so how do we prioritize correctly. I find it interesting that when we are asked to talk in church or have to give a lesson, we take the time to study, ponder, and pray to ensure that we are prepared. How is that possible? Priorities! I say these things as much to myself as anyone. I am a Netflix binger, Soccer Mom, who works on a computer for work and play. I love electronics and could easily be lost in its powers for hours. Do I need to remove them from my life? Probably not, but I must use them to my advantage by using the resources available through them to learn more about the Savior and how I can help my family come closer to him.

Each of us has interests, talents, hobbies, and things that drive us. The key is to figure out in your life how you can take something that you love to do and involve the Savior and learning of him in that. You love to read? Seek out spiritually uplifting books. You love to bake? Bake with your children and take some cookies to someone who needs your special touch in their lives. You are really effective at cleaning and organizing? Do as the Savior and seek out those who need your special gift to help them in their time of need. Good on a computer? Take some time to do some Family History searching or indexing. Still need to binge on Netflix? Grab someone who is alone, struggling, in need of a friend, or heartbroken and bring them into your life and share that time together to lift them and help them feel loved.

If we change our focus to think more like the Savior, to feel more like the Savior, and to love more like the Savior. We will become more like the Savior. Find time to read your scriptures. Find time to attend all of your church meetings. Find time to do the best you can in your callings. Find time to pray. Live your life in such a way, that if the Savior visited you today, you would be grateful and ready. He is watching. He is aware of your struggles. Believe in him and believe him. He has promised us that if we place him first in all things, he will “pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” I know this is true. I have seen it and felt it and I am eternally grateful to him.

Love,

Valyn Tucker

Kanesville Stake RS 1st Counselor

June Stake Relief Society Message

June 2016

The end of the school year and the beginning of the summer always bring about a sense of excitement, relief, and desire for exploration, adventure, and, of course, relaxation. We think about the accomplishments that have been made throughout the school year with graduations, concerts, and award ceremonies. We contemplate what we can do with our valuable time with the warmth of the sunshine filling our souls with renewed determination and hope for enjoyable times ahead.

As we think of the lazy (or not-so-lazy, as is usually the case) days of summer, what should be our focus? Family. Families are as diverse as individuals. The activities they do together vary, but one thing is true for all of them: as President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, “In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time.” Whether family members get together for scheduled outings, sharing interests, or serving others, these gatherings strengthen relationships that can be eternal.

But life is too crazy. What should we do? 3 simple basic ideas to help strengthen our family bonds:

1.     Make mealtime more meaningful – Make a concerted effort to eat together. Whether around the dinner table, on a picnic, or even across the table at a restaurant. Take advantage of the opportunity to talk, laugh, and learn more about each other.

2.    Turn off electronics – I am a Web Designer by trade, so I love electronics. I understand the wonderful things that can be achieved with them, but I can also see the time and attention that sucks people into their little world. Unplug, turn off, put away, step aside from the non-personal communication that comes from being “plugged in” to society. There is a time and place for them, but your family needs your undivided attention and you need theirs.

3.    Set aside family time - Go on field trips - visit museums, zoos, the great outdoors, the park, family history center, temple grounds, go geocaching, serve someone. Play games – play board games, video games with parents involved too, croquet, hopscotch, sports, darts, family Olympics. Attend concerts, plays, sporting events. Visit new places. Explore using themes focusing on different topics, regions, and activities.  Choose what your family loves and do it.

Let the house get dirty, work sit for a while, the weeds creep in, and the phone sit idle while you place the fleeting time with family at the forefront of importance in your life today. “Family life is the best method for achieving happiness in this world, and it is a clear pattern given to us from the Lord about what is to be in the next world.” Spencer W. Kimball. I pray that we may take advantage of the time we have and show our love to our families by spending valuable time with them today.

Valyn Tucker

1st Counselor